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  1. We’re not very good at picking up subtle hints. Sometimes, we’re not very good at picking up obvious hints either- DarkSoldier84
  2. Most men simply don’t get compliments from other men, so nice things from you are worth quite a bit. Please make more sincere compliments. You don’t even know the number of times per day I think of the girl I went to 10th grade with, who once told me I was the best looking guy in the school. That shit changes our lives – Hint227
  3. If you say you’re fine and you’re not, how the hell am I supposed to know – HawkingRadiation_
  4. The burden is on the one who initiates the phone call to have something to talk about, not the one who receives it

Me: (picks up) Hello.

Her: Hey babe.

Me: Hey. What’s up?

Her: Not much.

(Awkward silence)

Me: Soooo yeah. Watcha doing?

This shit needs to stop! – Zer0Summoner

  1. Sometimes when we want to be alone, we are not rejecting you. We just need to be alone for a little while. Space makes me want you more. Not love you less – BodePlotHole
  2. Balls are very sensitive.
  3. We honestly don’t know if you like us or not. We can’t tell if you are flirting or just being polite and friendly, so most of us, at least the ones who tend not to be utter creeps or douchebros tend to either just assume the latter and brush it off, or deal with it with the same level of cautious timidness like we were analyzing how to disarm an LED. We’re trying not to be standoffish or awkward but we honestly have no clue what you want – Diarhea_Bukake
  4. Men can be strong and sensitive. Men can like kids and not be villains. Men can prioritize intimacy over sex. Men know the meaning of the word yoghurt – NicolasGuacamole
  5. When we do something that angers you without knowing what we did, repeatedly telling us “You know what you did,” doesn’t exactly help us figure out what we did – croyalbird13
  6. Sometimes I really am just thinking about nothing – stoneagewe
  7. Sometimes we just need a hug, don’t ask, just hug-dcel8
  8. We don’t remember what either of us said 10 years ago, even if you do.
  9. I have no idea if you like me or not. I’m sure you’re giving signals, but how am I supposed to know what they mean? Five different girls have told me they used to like me and I ignored them. Five! Whatever frequency you girls are broadcasting on, I’m not tuned in – TheWorstGuitarist
  10. If we are spooning with you, and you can feel the D rising, it’s not a hint for demanding a sexy time! Sometimes we cannot control how excited Mr. Dick can get without permission from Headquarters. Men like to cuddle too and a hard-on while doing so does not always mean I want to have sex – erahone
  11. I wish I could cry like you can when you have a moment of weakness – K1ng_N0thing

See Also: 18 Hilarious Memes Showing the Difference between Men and Women

  1. Playing video games two times a week for a few hours doesn’t mean I don’t want to “hang out”. It helps me relieve stress and zone out from the reality of life in general. Instead, every time I get treated as though I just booted up the sex machine and I’m blasting off to Orgasm Island. Seriously ladies, I just want to shoot at people on the internet guilt free. Please – r1s3UP
  2. When you’re telling a story or making a statement, it helps if you just get to the point. Drowning us in details makes paying attention nearly impossible – pm_me_whateva
  3. We won’t feel “unmanly” if you ask us out. We actually would appreciate it and probably find you more attractive if you approached us and asked us out. We are really shit at reading signs that a girl is interested – TuyRS
  4. As a man, my mind often wanders. If I’m staring off into space, please stop asking me “What I’m thinking”. I usually don’t know. Admitting this, however, seems to trigger an argument, since I’m “avoiding” the question. There is only an infinitesimally small chance that my wandering thoughts are about you. There’s an even smaller chance that it’s anything negative – Mahhrat
  5. Yes, I have to go to the bathroom. Yes, it’s to shit for the 4th time today. Deal with it! – Whaty0urname
  6. We do not talk about your sex stuff as much as you girls talk about ours. Like I’ve only heard them say good stuff about me, which is flattering but still feels invasive- ucbiker
  7. No matter how much you want me to care, I just cannot become interested in your co-workers’ children’s things. Hell, I don’t even care about my co-workers’ things. This does not mean I hate you. It just means I don’t care about a random person’s children’s thing – Eleazaras
  8. If you’re upset, you need to tell me. If you’re obviously upset and when I ask what about, I’d you say “nothing”, you lose points, and I’m going to pretend all is well. If I ask why you’re upset and you say, “Guess”, I will dump you- Diablo165
  9. Not all men are assholes… But most of us are perverts – svilcot
  10. When you explain problems you have at work, while we know you just want to vent, men are designed to want to try to offer solutions. I can’t tell you how often my wife gets frustrated just because I tell her what she should do at work to fix a problem – eyekwah2
  11. Just because we have our hands in our pants, doesn’t mean we’re fiddling with our balls. It gets hot down there! – HagridsLeftTesticle
  12. I love listening to your stories and I will be as supportive as I can when something’s bothering you. It makes me feel better to make you feel better. Please ask me how I’m doing every once in a while. Sometimes I’m working on some stuff too, and I don’t want to burden you with my problems when we’re already working on yours – aviat0rshades
  13. Calling me short is just as hurtful as calling a woman fat. It’s even worse since I can’t change my height – xenonpulse
  14. When I say ‘pick something to watch’, and you make me sit through Sex and the city, I will mercilessly guilt you into Star Wars, Lord of the Rings or some Marvel flic – yetanotherdude2
  15. We want to be left alone, but not BE alone – pineapples_and_stuff
  16. After consuming a good amount of liquor, our dicks don’t work. Whiskey dick is real stop crying about how “it’s really because you think I’m ugly”. No, I don’t – mainev3nt
  17. Just because I’m nice to you, doesn’t mean I want to date you. If I decline your romantic requests, it’s not because I’m weird – simpleone234
  18. Don’t have us do anything with kids, in public, without your supervision. We get looked at really weirdly – Nullrasa
  19. I need you to stroke my ego a little bit. As a man we kind of try to be heroes, but so often we don’t get the compliments for the hard work we put in. Seldom will we hear throughout our work day, “great job on that project” or our friends won’t tell us “Wow! I really like the way you did your hair today”, etc. As a bro, I do make manly compliments, but I feel like women are a little bit more “showered in compliments”. If I make an effort, appreciate it. If I go above and beyond, tell me I’m the best. We may seem to have big egos, but it’s only because no one else will tells us how awesome we are – tamass18
  20. Men do not value other people’s opinion as much when dealing with a problem. Women go around asking for advice. It’s not we don’t value your opinion in particular, we tend to trust our guts – kaptsea

Read More: 21 Hilarious Tweets that Sum Up Marriage Life in 2018

  1. If you complain about something and we offer a solution we aren’t “mansplaining”. We try to solve problems, it’s not malicious and we do this for each other all the time – FILTHY_GOBSHITE
  2. I’m not checking you out. Frankly, I’m probably spacing out about some nonsense in my head rather than ogling anybody; you just happen to be in the same direction – spook327
  3. When I say something that can be taken two ways, one of which is hurtful, I never meant it the hurtful way. Trust me. My current gal gets this and it’s so much easier. Sometimes, words just slip out before you can process them you know? – WannabeManofMars
  4. You know how you don’t want to just talk about yourself and explain your entire life story all in one go without being asked? Guys are the same way. Droning on and on about myself feels like I’m being a narcissistic douchebag even when I’m asked to talk about myself, so I’m certainly not going to do it without being asked – dmacintyres
  5. When men go on rollercoasters, our balls feel super weird when they are weightless and it’s uncomfortable. After rollercoasters, give us 5 minutes to get our balls to chill out – PM_me_your_deckchair
  6. I’m not keeping things from you, I’m just not dumping all my problems in your lap. Yes my day at work was shitty, why would I bring that home? It’s not that I don’t want you to know what I did at work, it’s that I don’t want to think about that shit while I’m not there – BlueFalconPunch
  7. When we say we think you’re beautiful without the makeup, we mean it. Usually because you’re out of our league, and we still don’t have a clue how we got you to date our sorry ass, but that’s not the point – Polymemnetic
  8. We actually DO hope we get an answer from your boobies – kaptsea
  9. I’m not your progressive accessory to show how good of a person you are, nor am I, ‘one of the girls.’ Sadly met a few women who do this. To them, all I was, was my sexuality. I wasn’t a man to them and my opinions on issues outside of fashion/men didn’t matter – Pink_Flash
  10. Saying “Sorry, I’m just not that into you,” or something like that is so much better than just ignoring them or faking a conversation – THC-FTW
  11. When you tan until you look like you were painted with deck stain you look terrible. No seriously, you do – Gromby
  12. I only have a certain amount of time in my life and I don’t want to spend it fighting with you to “prove I care. When girls start fights with you to “prove you care enough to fight for them”, it’s really annoying. Please understand that if we care, we will show it, but starting fights is not the way to go about it – Croninn
  13. We have a one track mind. If I am going to the refrigerator for something to drink, that is all I am focused on. I did not see the grapes that need to be eaten. “How did you not see them? They are right in front on the shelf??” Drives me crazy. “Why didn’t you see that thing that needed picked up on the floor?” Because I wasn’t looking for it and I was focused on going from point A to point B – aviat0rshades
  14. Please just answer the question at hand without introducing other variables.

Me: “Have you seen my (item of clothing) anywhere?”

Wife: “You were wearing (item of clothing) yesterday”

In my head, I wasn’t asking when I last wore it, I was asking if you had seen it anywhere – LWrayBay

  1. If you tell me you’re “ready to go” it means you’re ready to leave that instant, not that you’re almost ready to leave. I can get ready and be out the door in less than 30 seconds. The amount of times I’ve been told to go and ended up waiting another 10+ minutes is ridiculous – M10_Wolverine

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