Tender pedicures, romantic showers, matching outfits, naps in the car during road trips – today there’s just so much to do with your partner. I spend a lot of my time online, and so I see tons of #RelationshipGoals memes floating around the web. Some are crazily cute, some are desperately exaggerated and some are just plain unrealistic. Whatever the case, there’s no denying that relationship goals are something every couple covets.

Nonetheless, most couples end up feeling really inadequate, and perhaps a little disappointed, when these ‘goals’ fail to agree with their everyday life. In truth, most of these relationship goals memes are not only sickeningly idealistic but also phony and impractical, what merely seems like two people looking for 15 seconds of internet fame. In the real world, the only couple goals that actually matter are being happy together. Trying to over-compensate every time will not work – it never works.

Now that we have that out of the way, here are 10 realistic relationship goals you actually want as a couple.

Going over your partner’s phone when they are not looking

Now that online dating is a thing, it’s not hard to see why some people get quite nervous every time their partner’s phone goes off. It’s 10 pm, she’s in the shower, you’re getting ready for bed, then some guy named Steve blows up her phone. No answer. Two texts follow almost immediately, and you can’t help but sneak a quick look. Five minutes later you’re busy going through her texts, and the next break up story begins. It is normal to feel a little insecure when you’re still new in the relationship, but once you get past the awkwardness and self-doubt, there’s no reason to worry yourself with whoever your partner is texting. Trust is the ultimate goal in every relationship

Realizing that a fight doesn’t automatically mean a breakup\

Couples fight – a lot. As Kevin Hart puts it, “You are in a relationship to argue.” While it is pretty ironic to be taking relationship advice from Kevin Hart, it is true that arguments are inevitable in every relationship. What makes the difference between a successful relationship and a total mess is how you handle these fights. Sure there will be some tension in the relationship, and at some point it may feel like things are not working out anymore, but after you’ve been dating for a while, you realize that couple fights are just as normal as pineapple on pizza, and just because you had a little argument doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re going to break up.

Spending time next to each other doing your own thing and feeling comfortable about it

Just because you hang out together in the house doesn’t mean you have to do everything together. There’s some ecstasy in just lying on the bed playing 2K while your girlfriend reads her favorite book, and being utterly comfortable. Doing your own thing freely without feeling obliged to do it with your partner is somewhere you want to be. Of course, it shouldn’t be this way all the time, but I’m sure you know what I mean

Going for days without hanging out and not being upset about it

Whether you are in a relationship or not, it’s important to have your own life.  Not to say that spending time together is not important, but you want to stay a little self-sufficient in your relationship. You know your relationship is perfect when you can go for a few days without seeing each other and not making a big deal out of it. And when you miss each other for those few days, you actually get to appreciate each other even more.

Letting your girlfriend go out with her friends and not attacking her with edgy texts

You know what’s weak? Texting your girlfriend every 2 minutes whilst she’s trying to have fun on her girl’s night out. We get it – you love her a lot, you can’t stand being away from her, blah blah blah. Grow up! Give her some space and let her breath. Being able to have fun without necessarily doing it together is indubitably relationship goals

Realizing that you don’t have to have sex every day

Sex is exciting, especially when you first start dating, but with time, you realize it’s just a part of the relationship, not its whole essence. Once you’ve been dating your partner for a while, you eventually get to a point where you don’t feel duty-bound to have sex every time you see each other. Obviously, you can still do it, you just don’t have to if the mood isn’t right.

Not having to post every cute thing you do together on social media

A little publicity never hurt anybody. In fact, it’s good to let the world know how you feel about each other. But the last thing you want is to be that couple that makes mountains out of every little soil in your relationship. Newsflash – Nobody cares. Focusing on each other rather than the unreserved attention you can get on social media is relationship goals for the ideal couple.

Being gross around each other and feeling comfortable while doing it

If your girlfriend still has to excuse herself and leave the house every time she has to fart, is she even your girlfriend? Burping, farting, licking your fingers because you ‘accidentally’ had your fingers in the peanut butter jar, enjoying hugs when your partner is all sweaty – this is the level of comfort you should really be looking to pull off in your relationship.

Being able to compliment other people without freaking each other out

If you think someone else is cute, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t tell your partner about it. You are already thinking it, so you might as well just say it. Unless your relationship still feels somewhat shaky, and you are still unsure of your partner’s reactions, talking without restraint about the things you find attractive in other people and finding a way to make jokes about it is a pretty good place to be together.

Being able to laugh together because something weird just happened during sex.

That pretty much summarizes relationship goals in 2018. LOL

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