Last night my girlfriend asked me what it’s like to pee standing up, and I had a really hard time answering that question. I guess it’s just like normal peeing, just a little more laid-back and upscale. As men, we spent so much of our years living our ordinary guy lives, we don’t even realize how unorthodox our modus vivendi gets sometimes. The truth is, women have questions. Lots of them. Why are guys so obsessed with boobs? Do your balls hurt when you walk? Can you pee hands-free? I’m not sure why they obsess so much on how we pee, but I think I speak for all men when I say bathrooms are the one place we feel uncomfortable to converse.
Back to my girl. So we got to talking, and the questions got even more intense. Apparently, girls have hundreds of questions they are dying to ask their boyfriends but they are too afraid to do it. Now that I think about it (perhaps stupidly), it’s probably what they do when they leave to go to the “bathroom”, and when they can’t find the answers they are looking for, Google is always just one click away. Here are 10 relationship questions (and my very half-baked answers) every girl wants answered but is probably too afraid to ask.
Why isn’t he calling me back?
It’s been 3 hours since she left a “call me back” message, but he still hasn’t called back. Is he ignoring me? I’m I annoying? Or maybe he is just not that into me… All these questions going through your head will leave you vexed and confused, and maybe it’s ok to be paranoid sometimes. I can’t say for sure if he’s really ignoring you on purpose, but if he is mature enough, there’s probably a good explanation for his actions. It would make things a whole lot easier on you if you found meaning in his absence before making any rash conclusions.
Why does he treat me differently in front of his friends?
I’ll be honest. No man wants to look like a pussy in front of his friends. That means he will probably treat you a little differently when they are around. It’s not so much about insecurity or ego but rather about upholding our machismo and endorsing a rather masculine profile.
Why is he always playing video games?
Video games are a sanctuary for most guys, and perhaps the best way to deal with stress (Not to say girlfriends aren’t). A video game is the only place you can make enough money to buy a brand new truck and a mansion in just one day, and don’t even get me started on shooting zombies in the head. Sure it may sound silly to most girls, but we can’t go shopping like you guys. So rather than be hypercritical about his video games, figure out an acceptable amount of time and let him have his fun. If he creates time for you at the end of the day, then what’s the problem?
Why doesn’t he cuddle me after sex?
Well, unlike you, we are usually spent. It’s easier for you to crave all that physical intimacy after sex, your blood is still hot and your hormones are still thirsty for affection. But things are a little different for us. We tend to do a lot during sex, and we just want to lay back and calm down our balls when the business is complete. Of course, that’s not a compelling reason not to want to cuddle after sex, but I’m sure there is a more scientific logic behind the reduced airs.
Why does he want me to be thin?
Every man has his own idea of the perfect woman, but when it comes to body size, I’m not sure we differ that much. We love curves; a real ass, and some jiggly breasts. So maybe it’s not that important to him that you are thin; it could all be in your head.
Why do guys judge me so much when I wear the same clothes twice in a row?
I’ll let you in on a secret. It may sound a little harsh, but it will odds-on clarify everything. No straight man in the world cares about what you wear. All the negative comments will always come from your lady friends. How you dress is only important to us when we are enjoying the view, and we only stare because it would be rude not to. I want my girlfriend to look sexy, and if she does that by wearing the same dress twice, it’s still a win for me.
Why does he keep insisting I be his Girlfriend?
Personally, I like stability, and I bet most guys do too. Just like you, men want to know where they stand with any woman. Is this an open relationship? Are there any benefits? Do I have to worry about sharing you with other guys? All these are questions every man wants answered, and asking you to be his girlfriend is probably just an escape from all the small talk.
Why does my boyfriend watch porn- Am I not good enough?
Why do you eat at restaurants – is your cooking not good enough? Now you’re smiling because suddenly it doesn’t seem that much of a big deal. Watching porn has absolutely nothing to do with you. We just want to enjoy the show, we don’t want to participate in it.
I keep going down on him. Why doesn’t he return the favor?
Sex is a two-way street; you get what you give. That, I believe, is enough of a call to action, and that’s all I have to say.
Why doesn’t he say “I love you” back?
Love is a strong word, and for some guys, it’s harder to admit to something they don’t even fully understand. Maybe he is scared of opening up (especially if he has been hurt before), maybe he doesn’t think your relationship is there yet, or maybe he is just afraid that admitting he is in love will raise your expectations of him. Men’s feelings take time to straighten out. So pushing him to admit to something still isn’t sure about will only scare him off. Give it time.
And now to answer the last big question; Ladies, No! we don’t sit on our balls 🙂
Did I leave anything? Drop in the comments below.