Hi, Tiffany here. Gregg often tells his female readers the best way to answer the question, “is he a keeper” is to take him on dates that will expose everything about him. As women, we need to look past the killer smile and the six-pack abs, and see the real man.
You may be man shopping, or evaluating a new man, based on a list you created. Does he have a good job, or is he a slacker? Is he kind to others? Does he have a temper? Does he have kids, or an ex wife? Is he looking to settle down, or is he just out for a good time? Is he the possessive, jealous type? Is he being honest, or is he a habitual liar? Does he drink too much, or take drugs? Is he a player? All these thoughts running around in your brain could drive a girl crazy! But, coming right out and asking him about all this can quickly feel like more of an interview than a date. Instead of playing reporter, test your new guy with these four dates, guaranteed to set your mind at ease. Then, you can make an informed decision on whether or not he’s a keeper.
Date #1: The Meet His Friends Date
Suggest a get-together with HIS friends. You could all go grab a beer at a pub, or maybe you could host a backyard cookout, or sit in on a poker night? This is a really easy way to get some clarity when your eyes are clouded with little hearts (and big biceps). If his friends are all immature or if they are players, chances are your guy is too. Take time to talk to all his friends. If he has been lying to you all along, an accidental revelation from his close pal can be a real eye-opener.
On the other hand, if he hangs with a good group of guys, where does he stand in the pack? Do his friends have respect for him? Pay close attention to how he behaves around the guys? Does he behave differently from the man he is with you? Does he put you second when it comes to his buddies, or is he attentive and proud to show you off?
Date #2: The Meet Your Friends Date
You should make sure YOUR friends get to meet your new guy as well. Throw a small dinner party with the girls or meet up with friends at a bar or restaurant. Girlfriends have your back, and even though you may not like what they have to say, they may see something about him that you are missing – like if he’s checking out other women, or even worse, hitting on one of your friends! Nobody can better answer the question, “is he a keeper” than your friends!
Your girlfriends can also ask the tough questions for you — all those thoughts running around your brain and driving you crazy! You can even give them a specific list of things you want to know, before the get together. After all, you can’t help it if your friends are overprotective of you!
Date #3: The Too Much To Drink Date
According to Gregg, alcohol is like a man’s truth serum. But if you want to get the whole truth and nothing but, YOU need to stay completely sober! Whether you nurse one drink all night, or stick to sparkling water with a twist of citrus, go to Happy Hour and see how he acts. Alternatively, you can drop in while he’s out with the guys, after he’s already had a few drinks.
Is he a loud, rude, and/or obnoxious drunk? Is he overly grabby and behaving inappropriately or disrespectfully? Is he aggressive, picking fights with anyone and everyone? Is he embarrassing himself and acting like a complete idiot? Or worse, is he drunk ALONE? All these can be big red flags.
On the other hand, maybe he has a few too many but keeps his cool, or maybe he’s a guy who doesn’t overdo it and drinks responsibly. You won’t know for sure until you go on this date!
Date #4: The Meet His Family Date
This is last on the list since this normally would not happen until you were dating for a while. But it’s really important to see how a man treats his family, and in particular, his mother. This can be very telling. If he does not respect his own mom, chances are he will not treat any woman in his life with respect. Of course, if he is all about Mama and puts her above everyone else, including you, you may also want to think twice.
His family knows him better than anyone, so be prepared to hear embarrassing stories about his childhood. If any serious issues come to light, trust that these are the people who love him unconditionally and would not say something disparaging if it were not true. Of course, if he has a strained relationship with his family, you may need to rely on the power of female intuition to tell you what is true and what is not. Be sure to keep this in mind – tension and mistrust within a family could be another red flag.
Remember, YOU are the chooser. There are good men out there waiting to date you, and maybe you have already found one. If you are not sure about the new man in your life, take Gregg’s good advice and test your guy with these four dates
This post was previously published on whoholdsthecardsnow.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
Talk to you soon.
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The post Is He a Keeper? 4 Test Dates to Find Out appeared first on The Good Men Project.