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So Valentine’s is finally here and now, more than ever, every guy in a relationship is feeling overstretched about it. Obviously, your girlfriend wants you to get creative so she can show her friends just how lucky she is. But you probably still don’t understand what the fuss about this day is all about.

While Valentine’s is an all-lovers day, we decided to do something different this year – give the single guys a voice. We interviewed hundreds of single people about what their plans are on this “special” day and here are some of the hilarious responses we got. Hold your chest – things are about to get cracky!

I am single at the moment, and on Valentine’s Day, I’ll do what any single guy is supposed to do – go to my ex’s online page and hate on her happy pictures – Neko_White

I mean it’s kind of a useless holiday if you’re single. Why else would I be celebrating this day if I’m alone, you know. I’m just going to masturbate violently all day – Awkwafina

Since I’m single and not going out on Valentine’s Day, I pray for heavy rain! Flood all the walkways and driveways. Let them swim and have sex on trees if they are real men and women – Teegold

As a single girl on Valentine’s Day, I’m going to do absolutely nothing. I like to pretend it’s not even a day. I could just stay in bed and touch myself all day – Ayydubs

Valentine’s Day is still a massive capitalist scam every single year but that still doesn’t stop me from bein extremely jealous of all the cute couples out there – Zach

There are pizza places that will send you a pizza in the shape of a heart, and so I order that and eat it with an entire bottle of wine while watching Game of Thrones – Smoothie_Freak

A couple of years ago, I got an anonymous box of chocolate in the mail, and I was so excited. After telling all my friends about it, it ended up being from my grandpa – Janice

The worst part about being single on Valentine’s Day is not about being alone. It’s knowing that people who are uglier than you have found love- Nicky_Paris

Instead of waiting for someone to buy me chocolate, I go to CVS, buy all the chocolate I want, go home, and just eat it for hours without having to worry about anything – Amanda

Single guys on Valentine’s day kind of treat it like they are on the good end of a traffic jam…Like they are looking at guys in relationships like, ”glad I’m not you”. It kinda sucks you know – Joey

I imagine that single guys just hi-five themselves on Valentine’s because they get to save a lot of money, while single girls like us spend hours hating our lonely lives – Hallera

Single people: having a Valentine? Can’t relate. What is that, a sauce? Must be nice to have someone. I’ll be crying, watching Netflix, masturbating and continuing to tell the world how lonely I am – Beta_fish

If you’re broke, and you’re a dude, being single on Valentine’s is the best thing you could ever ask for. I know guys who have broken up with their girlfriends a week before Valentine’s – Matt_Pavich

Single guys are lucky on Valentine’s. Not only do you get to save a bunch of money, but you also get to confuse a lot of women on dates. Just deep some strawberries in chocolate while eating in a public restaurant and watch girls on dates lose their minds – Anthony

I think the best part about being single on Valentine’s Day is that… it’s kinda socially acceptable to make a bunch of silly mistakes and no one judges you because you’re sad and alone – Butch

Half of me doesn’t give a single shit about Valentine’s Day and the other half wants a cute basic ass date – my personalities are fighting each other – Safi_brown

Being alone on Valentine‘s Day isn’t that bad… like Forrest Gump always said “life is like a box of chocolates, you’re single because you’re a whore – Sarah

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