There is a violent controversy surrounding infidelity today, and judging from the top comments raised in many discussion forums, it would seem that different people have different views on why most people choose to cheat on their partners.
Looking back on the golden pre-civilization days, the concept of cheating was rather forthright; having actual sex outside your relationship. But times have changed. We have porn, sexting, escorts, strippers… you know the usuals. So where do all these acts lie in the cheating graph? Well, I can tell you for sure that if porn counts as infidelity, then all men are cheaters. Sexting? Add that too! Just so you know, in all fairness, I hate misogynists.
The real problem, however, is what really happens when people cheat, more importantly, the lame excuses people give to justify their cheating behavior. Regardless of why you did it, one thing is clear: Cheating is disrespectful, it’s selfish, it’s insensitive, and it’s desperate.
Here’s what you should do when you cheat: Admit you were wrong and openly apologize to your partner. But here’s what most people do: excuses, excuses, and more excuses. Sure they may make you feel better about yourself, but you will only end up making things worse.
Now that I’m done whining, here are 10 stupid reasons people give for cheating. If someone uses any of these lines on you, just leave. They are not even worth it.
I was Drunk
Alcohol will only make a person cheat if they’d considered doing it while sober. I did not just make that up. I found it on Twitter, and it’s the realest thing I’ve read all week.
Alcohol will only make a person cheat if they’d considered doing it while sober. Being drunk changes your behavior, not your morals.
— LIFE QUOTES (@ItsLifeFact) April 2, 2018
The audacity of cheaters to blame their immoral behavior on alcohol is not only weak but also lame and insipid. People get drunk all the time, and the fact that you let yourself easy just because you had two shots of tequila is entirely on you. Blame it on your loose pants, not the booze!
It happened so fast
Accidents happen fast, but cheating does not. Psychologists have more than often proved that sex is a carefully thought and planned bustle. You admire, fantasize, wish, plan and act. So many things happen fast but cheating is definitely not one of them.
I was blind and stupid
Of course you were! That became obvious from the moment you did it. The important thing to remember is that, in this generation, the ‘bad guy’ knows how to say the right things. There’s no denying that cheating is a blind decision, but using it as an excuse… Really?
You seemed distant and I felt alone
Relationships become complicated sometimes and people take breaks (not the best idea by the way) to figure themselves out. But just because you had an argument does not necessarily mean that you’re going to break up. Yet some people are so focused on pursuing new relationships and getting sexual elsewhere, rather than working harder fix their current relationship. If you’re going to have sex outside your relationship just because you felt a little lonely, then maybe you are not ready for a commitment altogether.
You weren’t giving me enough attention
It is true that your partner owes you his/her undivided attention, exclusively, especially if you are in a long-distance relationship. Rather than cheat, though, you should focus on making them feel appreciated every time you hang out and understand that the world does not revolve around you.
I couldn’t control myself
Cheating is greatly subject to perception. If you choose to see it as an exciting and fun thing to do, then you obviously can’t help yourself, which makes you dumb, not helpless. But if you choose to view it as the selfish and inconsiderate act it really is, then controlling yourself is not an option.
So where do we go from here? By far the most common justification people give for cheating on their partners is “What they don’t know won’t hurt them.” Believing that cheating is okay as long as your partner doesn’t find is as misguided a belief as the saying ‘Blood is thicker than water’. As Robert Weiss from Psychology Today puts it,
“A cheater never fully gets what he/she wants – a clean getaway-because infidelity is nearly always discovered eventually, and when that happens, it inevitably comes with devastatingly painful consequences.”
Rather than cheat, if you are unhappy with your current relationship, just discuss it with your partner and save them the sting of betrayal. It’s not that hard people!